so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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