My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
