I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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