I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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