I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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