if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
