Best friends brother. Beat that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
