I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
