just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
