Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
