I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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