I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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