Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
