I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
NoShamevember. You game?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
