Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
