I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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