He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize