I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
