Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
