And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
