Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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