Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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