guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Your penis caused this!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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