he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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