God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize