So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
