I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
