you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
