If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
