she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
