I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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