Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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