I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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