Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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