I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
