you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
