We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
