I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
