I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
