Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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