Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
