So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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