Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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