You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
