just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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