Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize