hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
