Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
