May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
