forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize