Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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