We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
