Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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