Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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