I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
