Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she told me i tasted like america
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
