I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
