u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
