Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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