Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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