We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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